It’s about time!

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This is a small post on the subject of “discrimination”.    It is imperative that the media (especially women’s magazines be it hard-copy or online) come to grips with the fact that their readership is not made up entirely of  20 year olds with slim figures.  Women of all sizes and ages read their publications and it’s about time that more portrayals of older people dressing as “they” see and feel like it, are included in each and every edition.

When these magazines, which they claim for all women, deign to present special little supplements for the older or the plus size woman, they treat it as though they’re doing us a service and we should be eternally grateful for it.  Unfortunately they’re carrying on the form of disctrimination that defies reason. 

When will the media see women in all their differing shapes, sizes and ages as women per se.   There’s no need to imply that anything other than a young, extremely thin woman is not acceptable as being typical and representative of women you see in any home or shopping mall.

Let’s get real.   As an advocate for size acceptance for more than 40 years, I can’t believe it’s taking so long for “society” to demand total acceptance of all our differences, which after all, make us the same.

We need to celebrate womanhood for what it is and what it stands for.   As far as the media is concerned we’ve made no real inroads for decades. 

Inner peace and confidence

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I have an avid appetite for reading.   I have my favourite authors and then I am constantly introduced to new authors either by recommendation or sometimes I am drawn to a book for some unexplained reason.  Fortunately most times I find my instincts are spot-on and I gain both pleasure and learning from the words contained between the covers of books that so often don’t seem to appeal to others.  Remainders are a constant delight to me and I love foraging among recent and old books at second-hand bookshops and Op Shops.

“Dont Sweat the Small Stuff – and it’s all small stuff” by Richard Carlson is one such book that I came across by chance just recently.  Let me quote just a sentence or two.

Humility and inner peace go hand in hand.  The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peaceful inside………. People are drawn to those with a quiet, inner confidence, people who don’t need to make themselves look good, be “right” all the time, or steal the glory.  Most people love a person who doesn’t need to brag, a person who shares from his or her heart and not from his or her ego”.

Elegance in Black

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When it comes to originality, many of our younger designers are certainly stepping outside of the square and coming up with beautiful, sharp designs.  Here’s an elegant suit from Trelize Cooper which can be seen on the website of Wendys of New Zealand.

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What a pity (once again!) that these designs only go up to a size 16.   For a simply tailored elegance what will it take for designers to see the potential of designing for the more curvaceous?  We know there’ll be a need for more fabric and certainly a more discerning eye for the curves, but we of the “generously endowed” women seek garments such as this, to enhance our figures too!

Does “aging” mean we must become invisible?

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I’ve been reading a lot lately about mature-aged women feeling “invisible” as they grow older.  Now for a plus-size woman to say this causes a great deal of confusion and conversation!  Dare I say it, it also causes some amusement – even amongst plus-sizers!

An older woman is not expected to dress in the young trendy fashions – if she does she is subjected to a certain degree of ridicule; and yet on the other hand there’s not much out there in the marketplace that allows for elegance and style for the growing older woman. Growing older women (and I’m speaking for the 45 onwards woman) want to be smart in their dress, but unfortunately many of the well-known labels seem to have gone the way of the albatross and either converted to “young” fashion or else closed their doors. Women in their mid 40s and older don’t want to necessarily become part of the “beige” population – they want colour and flair. It’s always encouraging to see women such as Helen Mirren and Dame Quentin Bryce who always make headlines with their fashion-sense.  There’s a good reason I have no doubt.  That is they have their clothes “made” for them.   I don’t think they just happen to duck into the nearest so-called boutique at their local shopping centre to find something that says “style”.
Copyright: http://www.mydaily.co.uk
Dressmakers are hard to find – especially those who will take on projects that include the plus-size woman.   If you know of a local dressmaker then write and let us know so that we can share that information with readers.  We will even draw up a Directory, divided into States – cities, suburbs, rural and country areas.

 

How much is too much?

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There comes a time when every  woman (surely) must look in her wardrobe and wonder if she actually “needs” everything that is hanging there.

What happens when there’s not an annual “spring-clean” is that clutter builds up.  Much the same as the kitchen pantry!    This reults in a number of things.  One – we forget what is really in our wardrobe. Two – the poor old clothes get squashed up and no longer feel or look fresh and crisp and “wanted”.

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How much is too much?  That all depends on a woman’s life-style.   This is something that we all need to take into account and quite frankly can be an interesting exercise if we haven’t usually done this de-cluttering on a regular basis.   Recycling is a word no longer appreciated for its real worth, but Op Shops are doing a great business and this is because many women are de-cluttering their wardrobes and sharing what they have with others who do not have.

De-cluttering our wardrobe gives us the opportunity of giving new life to what we have, what we like and what we wear.  Segregating into colours our tops,pants, then jackets and so on, allows us to open our wardrobes (or walk into our walk-in wardrobes if we are fortunate enough to have one); choose a complete co-ordinated outfit within a minute or two, and feel confident about our choices.  Rather than standing there wondering what on earth to wear, choosing something that doesn’t quite feel right and then feeling unhappy with our choice for the rest of the day!

Scrunching clothes up tightly together doesn’t do them any good at all.   It doesn’t go us much good, either!

WAITING UNTIL ……..

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You’ve probably heard someone say they’ll wait until ……. before they’ll do this, that or the other.  In fact if we’re honest most of us have said the same thing.  I know I did, especially as it relates to losing weight.   And over the years I’ve heard thousands of women say the same thing.

“I’ll wait until I lose weight …. before I travel overseas”,   “….. before I do that course at University”,  “….. before I’ll buy that gorgeous red taffeta dress”; ……. before I’ll start going out”;  “…… before I’ll find a man who is attracted to me”.’ “……. before I’ll buy a swimsuit”;  “…… before I’ll join some friends for coffee”;  “before I’ll have a baby”.     And so it goes.

Look at it this way.   Why do we wait?   Why should we wait?   Because if we look at the situation fairly and squarely, we’ll see that we’re setting ourselves up for a “what if we don’t lose the weight” scenario, and what happens then?  We become embittered and despair of ever being happy.

We go without the things that we would dearly love to achieve in the meantime, and who’s to say that the opportunity to do what we wish for will still be there should we happen to lose that weight?   We may be successful in losing the weight and then find to our dismay that we don’t or can’t do what we dearly wanted.

On the other hand, I say (and OK this has been learned over many decades and through many episodes of self-doubt) go ahead and do these things NOW.   Putting things off never achieved anything really substantial in the long run.   Travel overseas – do that course – buy that dress and swimsuit – go out and meet up with friends – and if you and your partner are determined try for a baby.  And there’s no reason why you shouldn’t find a man who finds you attractive – it happens all the time – you just don’t hear about all the success stories!

Don’t put things off.   Too many stories are told of people who missed out on so much just because they put things off “until they lost weight ……“.

Losing weight is not the answer to any of our self-doubts;  confidence has to be fought and won by our own determination and strength (with a little help from our friends of course).   Confidence in our self,  our abilities and our potential is not dependent upon our weight (or our losing weight). 

We’re intelligent, articulate women.  Yet sometimes we fall into the trap of telling ourselves (over and over again) that it is the weight that holds us back from fulfilling our dreams.  Not so.   It is allowing the negative thoughts to take control and to manipulate our thoughts and emotions that are the trouble – dispense with the negative thoughts and replace them with “I can”.   Try it out.  And have fun doing it, without waiting until!

(And if you can’t find a red taffeta dress or swimsuit that suits you, then find yourself a dressmaker who will take on the job of making you look stunning.  It will be well worth it.  As far as a flattering swimsuit is concerned, have a look at Monif C’s and Igigi’s websites in the US – their suits are absolutely incredible!)

What is this nonsense?

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Are we taking the abbreviations of texting to extremes?   It’s not as though texting with the removal of vowels in many words is anything new.   It goes back to the days of shorthand if not back even further in time.   I’ve used it for decades, and I know that it was common for engineers and other professional people to hand-write documents using this method, before the advent of personal computers

What doesn’t make sense is the way we are beginning to talk like babies, even as adults!  “Let’s meet for brekkie”;  “We’re having casserole for din-dins, come and join us”;  “I’m giving a party-darty for Bron for her 40th”,  and it goes further into normal everyday conversations.   All this from women who are well educated and intelligent.

This morning I received an email dealing with Manicures for Valentine’s Day.  Now this sounds all very normal, doesn’t it?   But then I took some time in trying to figure out what the word “Mani” meant in their email.    Now Mani is the name of a really nice young man down at the Music Store and I don’t think this email was talking about him.

No, it seems the word “mani” is now being used instead of manicure.   OK, I get it, but then I don’t.  Why can’t we use the correct words without becoming child-like in our everyday mature intelligent conversations?   Is it at all possible that our children will attempt to teach us how to use words and spell correctly in the future?

Am I so old-fashioned?